Cemeteries have often been depicted differently by many people, even in the cartoon shows we watch. We immediately imagine that a mere ‘white lady’ or a shadow of some sort might jump out of the shadows without any warning. The stories we’ve heard and the images we’ve seen can highly influence how we perceive and judge things that concern the place of the dead.

However, it’s a completely different scenario during our annual visits on All Souls’ Day. It’s understandable to feel scared of the souls that might wander around you, but it’s also important to actually understand what cemeteries contribute to each of our hearts who are still grieving.

This year, the rest of my family and I all gathered to visit our loved ones who passed away years ago. At the sight of their grave, I immediately felt a part of me was aching. Seeing their names engraved on that stone reminded me how much of years just passed idly by without having the comfort of their presence in our lives.

We sometimes expect people to feel less emotional about visiting their deceased loved one when a long time has already passed, but it never gets easier every single time we come here. The pain of losing someone dear is nothing we could ever casually tell someone, and it’s a story that isn’t easy to share—it comes with a heavy feeling of sadness each time we long for their presence, especially when a part of you still hasn’t accepted that they are truly gone from this world. I still haven’t accepted that my grandfather isn’t here to cheer me on anymore, and the fact that I never got to meet my own aunt who passed away right before I was born.

Though, I knew that we weren’t the only ones. I looked around the area and saw other people who had come to visit as well, sitting by the burial grounds of their lost loved ones. Some were happily sharing stories, some just fell into silence, and some bought food and flowers for them. I can’t help but think that most of them were also feeling the same way as I did or if they were also still learning to cope with the reality that they weren’t here at our side anymore.

Each of these people’s names on every stone has its own story to tell, and once held such significant value in our lives; the goodbyes felt harder to accept, not because of how unexpected they were, but because of how great our love was for them.

We could only wish we had spent more time with them or maybe had time with them at all, and the idea of going back in time to see them again, could maybe make the pain easier to bear. But we could only walk to their graves, and let our tears completely fall.

But, there’s no denying that even with the sorrows we carry during a few hours of being with them, there was this quiet tranquility that resides within the cemetery we were in. It brings a sense of comfort to each one of us knowing we were able to visit them once again, and even though recalling the memories can reopen sealed wounds in our hearts, it also makes us see how precious each of those moments was and how they were truly an important part of us.

Because this wasn’t just a cemetery or a graveyard, but it was the closest thing we could have to having visiting hours like in heaven. It was a resting place—a home to the souls who have descended to the afterlife, and a chance for us to have proper closure with the grief of our loss.

Eventually, we’d move on with our lives as usual as soon as the next day comes, but we’ll always believe in a way that they are never truly gone in this lifetime, so as long as we still carry their memories and their stories, they will continuously live inside of us, both in love and spirit.

Article by Princess Adona